Ode to the Starbucks Bathroom

 When I was 18 or 19, I believe I came back from college for a year to take a medical leave. During that time, I decided I wanted to work at Starbucks, so I went in for an interview. During my interview, the interviewer asked me something like, "What do you like about Starbucks? Why do you want to work at Starbucks?" To which I answered, "I just really like the way my skin looks in the bathroom mirror. I really love the bathrooms, and the lighting in the bathroom. My skin looks good in that lighting." And I meant it. 

Obviously, I didn't get the job. I think they called back again for a follow-up interview, and asked a similar question. And I don't remember exactly how I responded, just that I responded it in the format, "A) ... B) ...", which was obviously an overly formal way to answer a vibe-check question like "Why do you want to work here?" Even my mom made fun of me for how I answered the question in the A) B) C) format. I have to admit, in retrospect, I can see why I didn't get hired by Starbucks. But whyyyy, Starbucks, whyyyy? Why haven't you hired me the three or four times I've applied to you guys, when Coffee Bean hired me the first time I applied? 

Something about Starbucks must be stricter and a little more Navy-like. I feel like Starbucks is kind of like the fast-food coffee equivalent of applying to be in the army or the Navy. They have you wake up at ungodly hours, since they open at 4:30, and they're really strict on SOP and like lateness and things like that. Coffee Bean is the same or similar, but for some reason I managed to survive there for a month. Starbucks, though, wouldn't even let me in the door. They do however let me in the door as a patron. I do remember having a parasocial situation with one of the managers at the Starbucks I frequent, where to the point where when I applied to work at that Starbucks, it felt really weird, because it felt like he knew me already, in a way. 

Sorry for the long drawn-out sentences, it's mostly in rebellion against the fact that I've been getting criticized for writing run-on, drawn-out sentences in my novel when I posted the first two chapters of it on r/destructivereaders. Does anyone (aka the two people reading this, I see you. &BTW THANK YOU so much for reading, it's keeping me going with this so) know what r/destructivereaders is? It's basically a subreddit (hence the r/...) for posting your reddit, where the point of the subreddit is that people will tear into your writing and be, er, overly critical about it. So they'll say things ranging from "this is completely unreadable, you should really re-consider being a writer" to "this has way too many similes in it, consider overhauling the way you write completely" to "I don't want to take away from your voice, but the way you write makes me not want to read further in the story". 

But they don't say all bad things. Occasional there will be a nice comment amongst the drivel, if you sift through the commentary. One person said my writing was "humorous", and another person said I had the "good seeds for a story". So that was kind of nice. I wish they could expand more on those parts, instead of digging into the technicalities and small things in my writing that irk them the wrong way upon first reading. But maybe that is the nature of reddit. It might be even more representative of what goes on on Reddit, the fact that such a subreddit r/destructivereaders exists. Why can't there be a subreddit called r/constructivereaders where the point is to talk about the things that you like about each other's writing? But I digest...(I digress)

And I stand by my comment about the bathroom(s) at Starbucks. It is unbelievably vibe-y and atmospheric every time I go in there, I feel like it's a safe space. For some reason the beige tiles and walls, along with the soft light from the overhead light, makes me feel like I've returned home. And when I see myself in the mirror, I feel like I'm seeing the best version of myself. And I don't think it's just the caffeine talking either, because I went in there the other day while only drinking chamomile tea, which I think is not caffeinated, and I felt that at-home, eerily familiar feeling that I get when I go to the Starbucks bathroom. And I love(d) it. 

Maybe it's still the coffee in the air, though, and I'm getting the caffeine by osmosis. No matter what exactly it is, I still feel like the Starbucks bathroom h as a special place in my heart. More so than the actual Starbucks itself, sometimes. It just feels like a magically sealed oasis in a chaotic Capitalistic wasteland. Closed off on itself, hermetically sealed, magically wondrous and different. And always smelling like caramel lattes. Even though caramel is NOT my favorite. 

What do you guys think? What is your favorite part of Starbucks? The drinks? The atmosphere? The smell? The baristas? ...The bathrooms? And where do you go when you want criticism on your writing, assuming you also write? Do you go to reddit, or do you (since you have friends) ask your friends and/or family? I am very curious to know. I am currently writing this from the mall, on my iPhone hotspot, so it is verily almost time for me to go see a movie with my Mather. So I will leave this blogpost at that...xxx